Your Body Isn’t Working Against You In Menopause… It’s Begging For These 7 Things

What if your body has been asking you for something all along?

It's been whispering through hot flushes, restless nights, aching joints, anxiety and those moments when you simply don't feel like yourself. At first the whispers were easy to ignore, but over time they grew louder, not because your body was working against you, but because it had something important it needed you to hear...

What if your body has never stopped trying to help you?

One of the saddest conversations I have with women begins with the words: “I don’t recognise myself anymore.” They tell me their body has betrayed them; that it no longer behaves as it used to and seems to have developed a mind of its own. Every day feels like another battle against hot flushes, poor sleep, anxiety, aching joints, weight gain or brain fog, and they begin to wonder if this is simply what getting older looks like.

I don’t believe that’s true; I believe something completely different. Your body isn’t working against you in menopause…

I believe your body has been trying to communicate with you all along.

The difficulty is that it doesn’t speak in words; it speaks in symptoms. Every hot flush, every restless night, every forgotten word and every wave of irritability is your body’s way of trying to get your attention. It isn’t trying to punish you or make life difficult; it’s trying to tell you that something has changed and that it needs a different kind of support.

Looking back, I can see my own body had been whispering to me for years. I simply didn’t understand what it was trying to say. By the time those whispers became loud enough for me to notice, I thought my body was working against me too.

Over the years, through studying Chinese medicine and working with hundreds of women, I’ve learnt to translate those whispers. My clients don’t need to understand Chinese medicine; that’s my job. Their job is simply to tell me how they feel. Mine is to decode what their symptoms are trying to say.

Today, I'd like you to imagine that, instead of another symptom, your body has sent you a letter...

1. “Please Stop Running On Empty”

Dear You,

You’ve always been so busy looking after everyone else that somewhere along the way you forgot about me. I know you’ve had careers to build, children to raise, parents to care for and a life that rarely slowed down. I never complained; I simply kept going because that’s what I’ve always done.

But I’m tired now.

I’ve been quietly using up my reserves for years, and menopause has simply exposed what was already happening. I’m not asking you to become someone different; I’m simply asking you to stop expecting me to run on empty.

What I hear…

This is one of the biggest patterns I see. Menopause doesn’t suddenly create all our problems; it often shines a light on years of putting ourselves last. Your body isn’t being weak; it’s asking to replenish what has gradually become depleted. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is finally put ourselves somewhere near the top of our own to-do list.

Ps. Sleep isn’t a negotiable – if you don’t get enough this is the first thing to resolve.

2. “Please Feed Me, Don’t Fight Me”

Dear You,

For years you’ve been told to eat less, cut things out and be frightened of food. Every time the scales moved, you blamed me, when all I was really asking for were the building blocks I need to keep you well.

I don’t need another restrictive diet.

I need nourishment.

I need protein to repair and maintain muscle, healthy fats to support hormones, brain function and moods, colourful vegetables to protect my cells and real food that gives me the nutrients I can no longer afford to miss. Please stop fighting me and start feeding me.

What I hear…

One of the biggest myths surrounding menopause is that eating less will solve everything. In reality, this is often the time when your body needs more nourishment than ever before. Modern nutritional science and Chinese medicine may speak different languages, but they tell the same story; when your body is under-resourced, it begins to struggle. Nourishing yourself isn’t giving in; it’s giving your body the tools it needs to do its job.

Ps. I would love full- fat foods please!

3. “Please Let Me Feel Safe Again”

Dear You,

I don’t know the difference between a charging tiger and an overflowing inbox.

To me, stress is stress.

I’ve been running on adrenaline for so long that I’ve almost forgotten what calm feels like. Every deadline, every worry, every sleepless night and every moment spent rushing from one thing to the next asks a little bit more of me.

Please don’t ask me to keep surviving. Help me remember how to switch off and truly rest.

What I hear…

This is where Chinese medicine and modern nutritional science often walk hand in hand. One describes the effects of prolonged stress through patterns of depletion, the other through cortisol, inflammation and nervous system overload. Different language; the same message. Your body isn’t asking you to do more. It’s asking you to feel safe enough to slow down. This is probably one of the hardest ideas to accept because many women tell me, "But I'm coping." And I believe them. The difficulty is that your body keeps its own score. It holds onto stress physically, even when your mind feels strong.

Ironically, the women with the greatest symptoms are often the ones who appear to be coping the best. They keep calm, carry on, look after everyone else and rarely ask for help; meanwhile their body quietly absorbs every ounce of that stress until, one day, it simply can't carry on pretending everything is fine.

 Ps. Self-care isn’t selfish – it’s basic survival!

4. “Please Help Me Make The Most Of What You’re Giving Me”

Dear You,

Thank you for buying all those lovely supplements. Now… can we make sure I can actually use them?

If my digestion isn’t working well, I can’t absorb all the goodness you’re trying so hard to give me. Please don’t just think about what goes into your body; think about what I’m able to do with it.

What I hear…

This is often the point where my clients look slightly puzzled because I’ve suddenly asked them what their relationship with cheese is! It sounds completely random, but every answer gives me another clue. Digestion sits at the heart of so much of our health. It’s not simply about eating well; it’s about absorbing and using the nutrients your body depends upon. This is where your medical history comes in. Symptoms don’t arise suddenly overnight they take years to build and I create patterns from your history.

Ps. Show my liver some love – it’s like a giant filter and it’s got pretty clogged!

5. “Please Give Me Permission To Rest”

Dear You,

You feel guilty every time you sit down.

Please don’t.

I’m doing some of my most important work when you sleep, when you pause and when you finally allow yourself to breathe. Rest isn’t laziness; it’s where repair begins.

What I hear…

One of the hardest lessons menopause teaches us is that we can’t keep pushing through forever. We wear our busyness like a badge of honour, yet our body quietly longs for moments of stillness. Rest is productive because it allows healing to happen.

Ps. I love this quote: “The paradox of relaxation is the renewal of mind and the rekindling of the spirit”. If you want your Mojo back – I need more rest!

6. “Please Listen To Me”

Dear You,

I’ve been talking to you for years:

The aching joints.

The brain fog.

The night sweats.

The anxiety.

The 4am wide awake doom thinking!

The hot flushes.

They’ve never been random.

They’ve been clues.

What I hear…

This is why I always tell women not to apologise for bringing me a long list of symptoms. The longer the list, the more clearly I can see the patterns. Most people see twenty separate problems. I don’t. I decode the messages those symptoms are sending and use them to understand what your body really needs.

Ps.  Being awake at 4am is one of the root-cause issues – let’s solve this and many other symptoms will just dissolve.

7. “Please Work With Me”

Dear You,

I’ve never been your enemy.

I’ve carried you through every chapter of your life.

Now I’m simply asking you to work with me instead of against me.

Trust me a little more.

Listen a little more.

Look after me a little more.

I promise I’m still on your side.

What I hear…

Perhaps this is the most important message of all. Menopause isn’t your body giving up on you. It’s your body asking for a different kind of support than it needed ten years ago. Once we stop battling every symptom and start understanding the patterns behind them, everything begins to feel a little less frightening and a lot more hopeful.

Ps. I’m your body and I’m incredibly forgiving because I’m an amazing miracle of human engineering. Help me out and I will feel better.

Your Body Isn’t Working Against You In Menopause - It's Been Talking To You All Along

If there's one thing I'd love you to take away from this article, it's this:

Your symptoms aren't the problem. They're the message.

They are your body's wonderfully clever way of asking you for help and, when you learn how to listen instead of fighting them, you stop chasing miracle cures and begin giving your body exactly what it's been asking for all along. Because your body isn't working against you; it never was.

In fact, your body is far more remarkable than most of us give it credit for; it is incredibly forgiving. I've seen women who believed they would never feel like themselves again begin to notice changes within days of making the right adjustments. For others it takes a little longer, because every woman arrives at menopause with a different story and different needs. There is no magic wand and there are no overnight cures, but our bodies have an extraordinary capacity to restore balance when we start giving them what they've been asking for.

That is why I never focus on silencing symptoms. I focus on understanding them.

When you begin nourishing your body instead of depriving it, calming it instead of constantly driving it forwards, listening to it instead of battling against it, something rather lovely begins to happen. Those whispers become quieter. Your energy begins to return. Your mind feels clearer. Your sleep becomes more restful. Your confidence slowly grows back.

The symptoms that once dominated every day begin to fade into the background, until one morning you realise you haven't thought about them for quite some time. That's when you know your body has started to trust you again.

And perhaps the greatest lesson menopause has to teach us is this...

Your body has never been your enemy.

It has been your greatest ally all along…. It has simply been waiting for you to listen.

Take a look here for next steps >

About Andrea at Cotswold Menopause

Andrea is a shiatsu and chinese medicine practitioner who uses the principles of chinese medicine in a completely practical way to help you resolve your symptoms naturally and for good. If you live locally you can book in for wonderfully relaxing Shiatsu for Menopause where we start to relieve your symptoms on the same day. Otherwise Andrea does online indepth consultations where you'll leave with an actionable plan to follow. Andrea is also passionate about doing workplace talks and is passionate about getting this message out to as many women as possible: Give your body what it wants to create the hormones that it needs!